If you’ve ever watched your child transform from a polite, well-behaved angel in public to a wild, emotional tornado the second they see you, you’re not alone. It’s not your imagination, and you’re definitely not doing anything wrong.

In fact, your child’s "feral mode" when they’re with you is actually a sign that you’re doing everything right. Here’s why your kid acts like a mini Tasmanian devil around you but somehow behaves like a model citizen with everyone else. You Are Their Safe Space

Your child knows you are the one person who will always be there, no matter what happens. When they’re with their mom, they feel the most secure, which means they don’t have to hold anything back. Think about it—when you’ve had a bad day at work, who do you vent to? Your partner, your best friend, or your mom? Kids do the same thing, except their version of venting includes whining, meltdowns, and testing every ounce of your patience.

Holding It Together Is Exhausting

Kids have to be on their best behavior all day—at school, at daycare, with family, with friends. They suppress their emotions, follow rules, and try their best to be the “good kid.” But the second they’re home with mom, the floodgates open.

They feel safe enough to let it all out, and unfortunately, you’re the lucky one who gets the full show. It’s kind of like when you have to be nice at work all day, and then you come home and yell at the kettle because it’s taking too long to boil. Your child isn’t acting out to upset you; they’re decompressing in the safest way they know how.

Testing Boundaries (Because They Can)

Children love pushing boundaries, and who better to test them on than the person who loves them unconditionally? Your child knows that even if they scream, cry, or throw a tantrum worthy of an Oscar, you’ll still love them at the end of the day.

It’s kind of like how you test your best friend’s patience when you keep saying you’re fine, but both of you know you’re going to cry for another half an hour before you actually feel better. They don’t push boundaries because they want to make your life harder; they do it because they need to feel secure.

You’re Their Emotional Dumping Ground (Sorry, Mom)

Your child knows that you will handle their emotions—whether they’re happy, angry, sad, or exhausted. They don’t have to sugarcoat anything or hold back their emotions like they do with other people. It’s not that they love you less; it’s that they trust you the most.

This is why your child might behave perfectly fine for their dad, their teacher, or even their grandma, but the second you walk through the door, they collapse into a dramatic heap on the floor. You are their emotional safety net.

They Want Your Attention

Sometimes, acting out is just their way of getting your attention. If they see you busy with something else—whether it’s cooking, working, or just trying to sit down for five seconds—they’ll suddenly “need” you. And yes, this includes throwing a tantrum because you poured their water into the wrong cup.

It’s not that they’re trying to manipulate you (well, not always). It’s just that they crave connection with you, even if it means throwing a dramatic performance just to get a little more of your time.

So, What Can You Do?

First, don’t take it personally. Your child’s “bad” behavior around you isn’t a sign of bad parenting—it’s proof that they feel secure enough to be their full, unfiltered self with you. Here’s what might help:

• Acknowledge their emotions – Sometimes they just need to hear, “I see you’re upset. It’s okay to feel that way.”

• Set boundaries – It’s okay to say, “I know you’re tired, but we don’t throw toys.”

• Give them a safe outlet – If they need to scream, offer them a pillow to scream into. If they need to run wild, send them outside for a few laps.

• Take deep breaths – (Yes, this one is for you.)

At the end of the day, your child’s behavior around you is a massive compliment. It means you’re doing a good job. So next time they completely lose it when you walk through the door, remind yourself—it’s not you, it’s them. And it’s because they love you the most.